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US President Warns Of 'Imminent Threat' From Canary Islands

Representatives from the The US Geological Survey met the President today to discuss the potential threat of a mega-tsunami originating from the Canary Islands.

Following the tsunami in the Indian Ocean in December 2004, the President put together a taskforce to examine potential threats against US coastal regions. USGS Scientists believe that the volcano of Cumbre Vieja, on the island of La Palma off the west coast of Africa, is the most likely location in the world to trigger a mega-tsunami, the like of which has never been seen in human history. It was found that the Cumbre Vieja volcano could potentially trigger a landslide of billions of tons of rock, sending a surge that would decimate 20km inland throughout the length of the east coast of the United States.

Following the meeting, the President issued the following statement: "I today met with advisors who warned me that the most imminent threat to our Great Nation comes not from Iran, not from Iraq, not even from Syria, but from the Canary Islands. My advisors say that the fault lies throughout your land, and I say to you that anything that is your fault can be remedied."

"I know that Canaries know about geomological issues. Miners used to take them down mines to detect danger, so they must have noticed something on their own island. To have not passed this threat on to us constitutes a gross terrorist action against our nation."

The military detention centre at Guantanamo bay has begun to build a massive aviary to contain all the canaries the President wants for questioning, although experts remain sceptical as to how much information can be gained. The president also ordered the capture of several thousand unregistered Budgies for cross-examination.

World News | USA | author: Tom - 2005-04-15
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