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eBay anticipate surge in Popemobilia

Online Auctioneers eBay are said to be doubling their server capacity in anticipation of a massive rise in the 'Pope-in-a-baked-product' market.

Following the death of Pope John-Paul II, market analysts are predicting a surge in pontiff-pastries and cardinal-candles. A spike was already seen in the days leading up to his death, based on Amsterdam traders attempting to offload their soon-to-be-redunant "I like the Pope, The Pope Smokes Dope" t-shirts. Experts suggest this will be a relatively minimal increase once the Pope has settled in to the Kingdom of Heaven.

Now the worry is that JPII will follow in the footsteps of other religious icons Jesus I, and Mother Theresa in attempting to infuse his image into everyday objects in order to make a few bob for his devotees. "We believe that floating celestially with the great almighty can get tedious pretty quickly," said Ecumenical Expert Monty Badshar, "scholars believe that persons of great piety are sometimes allowed out on day-release and for some reason, the fashionable thing to do is manifest".

Significant Christian figure Jesus H. Christ has always taken a poetic view to his manifestations, choosing clouds and delicate cloths. But following the death of Mother Theresa, she was spotted in a variety of carb-high comestibles such as bagels and croissants. It is thought that the Pope's preference will be pieces of fruit, or perhaps root vegetables, due to a prophetic remark he once made "Those who walk high with the king of kings must themselves have kinship with the lowly and tuber".

Jimmy-Bob Monkton, Chief Religious Food Archivist for goldenpalacecasino.com, has cancelled his family holiday in anticipation. "We would normally head off to Cancun this time of year" he said, "but the death of the Pope means I have to stay. It would a terrible thing if goldenpalace bought the image of the pope in a highly-volatile pastry product, a baklava, say, or even a profiterole, and I was not here to see it adequately preserved."

World News | | author: Tom - 2005-04-07
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