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ESPN NHL 2004/2005 Not Received Well

Computer game 'ESPN NHL Hockey 2004/2005' has been received poorly by initial buyers.

ESPN, leaders in the market for Realism in sports games has missed the puck with their hockey release for this season. Although there was extensive market research, and higher than usual levels of realism, the release was roundly slated for its lack of gameplay.

ESPN appear to have struck out with this attempt. The vicious licensing battles seen in the sports franchises were strangely overlooked for Hockey this season, and ESPN pounced where none seemed interested. Sadly their obsession with accurately recreating the season's events did not win over the younger fans, and those more interested in 'arcade' gameplay.

Young gamer Billy J. Mitchum expressed his disappointment in this release: "I sold lemonade this winter outside my house. The limited marketing opportunities and the extreme frostbite did not deter me from raising the $75 CND to buy this game," he said, flying in the face of his peergroup who downloaded it off the internet three days before its release. "Following the bitter cold and disappointing takeup for my holistic citrus beverage, I eagerly thawed my thumbs and grabbed hold of the gamepad". Such enthusiasm and fandom was welcomed by Hockey legends throughout the nation as they sat back to eat instant noodles and watch daytime reruns of Jerry Springer.

"Confusingly, when I started the game, I was forced to accept a non-revokable End-User-License-Agreement to the effect that any strategies I may concoct through my enjoyment of this game may be utilised with impunity by the operators of the NHL and its major sponsors" Billy remarked wistfully, before launching into his appraisal of this highly anticipated digital sports extravaganza.

"The initial interface was welcoming, and I performed well in the practise sessions," he said, "but when I tried to start my first match, the players just arrived on the ice and sat down."

Billy fell foul of the latest aspect of e-gaming, the players picketing for wages. "I just couldn't manage the complex socio-economic negotiations, and a popup window subsequently informed me that my game would not function until at least the winter of 2005"

Young Bill has since abandoned his attempts at e-union dispute resolution, but is pleased that his CV will be enhanced by his successes in the competitive field of winter cold-beverage sales. Billy Mitchum is 6 years old.

Technology | Gaming | author: Tom - 2005-03-26
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